Winchester-Nabu Detective Agency Year Two: Case File No. 52-104

AMBER LOVE 13-MAY-2019 Catch up on Year One and previous Year Two cases at the Winchester-Nabu Detective Agency. This work is supported by the generous backers who adore my cat stories at Patreon.com/amberunmasked and they also get first access to what‘s happening with my books and podcast. For a one-time tip, you can go to the new PayPal.me.

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Where We Left Off:

Professor Oliver Winchester found himself vomiting up a frog — or a toad, we’re not quite sure. Speculations have been considered whether he was trying a spell or if someone else tried to hex him. One of our most WTF? moments in history.

The Prestige

Gus continues to baffle the humans with his escape artistry. He was once again on the roof, although no one is sure how he got out the door to the observation deck in the first place. Oh, sure, the Cook believes I merely left one of the doors open, but honestly I do not think so. The screen doors close on their own by design.

There’s always another possibility that when I thought I let him back in the back door of the laboratory that he somehow slipped around my legs and exited before I noticed. That’s no more or less likely than me leaving the door open.

I’ve lost count how many times Gus has been on the roof. Perhaps, it’s no longer newsworthy because it’s become such a regular occurrence with him. There was something unique about this particular episode of his shenanigans since no humans are willing to claim credit as accessory after the fact. Instead, I consider my human intervention part of a rescue effort rather than aiding and abetting Gus’ cat burglary antics. This time, he went too far.

There I was — lying in bed watching TV when I heard his distinctive cry. It’s the one we refer to as his baby cry. He uses it when he thinks he’s in a troublesome situation or to whine until a human gives him what he wants. We’re well versed in this baby cry. Since his dexterity is sometimes quite impressive — if you follow us on Instagram I’ve posted videos of him working door handles — I thought perhaps he managed to get closed inside a closet. That would be in the realm of gee, I feel bad for you but this is funny. Oliver was closed into the refrigerator a long time ago when he was a tiny tike. I checked the closets and found no Gus.

Next, check the roof. Normally, he escapes through the net by going under the net and railing. Then he walks along the edge of the floor until he can leap up to the roof. That roof covers Oliver’s wing of the first floor residence. Typically, I don’t worry about him being there if he stays there. I would see him and climb out there myself by climbing over the railing and holding on to a hook that juts out of the side of the house. It’s not a big deal as long as my feet are covered. I’ve gone after him before in the summer when the roof is burning hot on my bare feet.

It was, I don’t know anymore, dark o’clock hour when I heard this baby crying sound. After not finding him in the closets or on the usual roof, I tripled checked. Then I thought to myself… no, he couldn’t have. He’s been thinking of it, but would he really? Yes, he did. Gus jumped over to another roof! It’s angled in a way that jumping was a moderate challenge for him, but he’s been doing a lot of work on his parkour skills. It was getting back that was a problem. From the front roof to the side roof meant that Gus would have to jump up at an angle.

“I needed to get out. There was something very important and you wouldn’t take me out in the dark, human. I swear sometimes you forget who the boss is around here. Now get me out of this!” He was like a petulant teenager who found himself in trouble and managed to come up with such a convoluted story that his parents were at fault for everything. And then convince them to post bail. Yep, that’s me: the guardian of an affluenza-cat.

“Gus, that was your decision to sneak out of the house and your decision to jump to a rooftop when you had no means of getting back safely on your own. This is not my fault.” Of course I had to come up with a plan to save his ass.

Fortunately, this particular roof is just outside my bedroom which is why I heard him. I went out to the first roof and kept talking to him. Instead off the proverbial “off the ledge” I was trying to get him to jump back, but I was scared by that point. It looked too difficult even for Gus to jump at an upward angle safely. I went back inside, leaving him to cry with exalted worry, while I made my way to the bank of front windows. I was able to work the unreasonably-engineered tiny levers that lock the screen in place. I pushed a few times until the window popped out. Then I couldn’t convince him to simply jump up while I held this partially pushed out window screen. It took some maneuvering but I managed to prop the screen with a shoulder and grab him while he stood on his back feet. #ohgus

They say a great magician never reveals his tricks and in Gus’ case, it’s true. I haven’t figured out for certain how he got the second floor door open. I do have a theory that’s plausible, but alas, I will also keep the secret as a good magician’s assistant.

Take a look at some of Gus’ impressive climbing skills:

Meanwhile, Oliver is the most polite detective at the Winchester-Nabu Detective Agency. When he gets out to the observation deck, he makes himself comfortable, chews on the plants, and often naps. My only complaint is that he moves at a snail’s pace to walk through the room and actually get his ass through the freaking door. I’ll stand there and stand there, trying to be encouraging. “Come on, Ollie. Any day now. You can do it, buddy. Just walk on through.”

Case Findings:

Gus still hasn’t told me what was so damn important that he needed to escape. I think he was testing out his skills and made the whole thing up.

This wraps the second year of weekly Winchester-Nabu Detective Agency stories! Can you believe it?

Founder and Editor-in-Chief of AmberUnmasked.com and Vodka O'Clock Podcast. Author of The Farrah Wethers Mysteries, comic book short stories, prose, and non-fiction. Cosplayer and figure model.