Several years ago, I donated my hair to Locks of Love and knew that if I grew it out again, I’d try to donate again. The time has come.

This is something that I’ve been talking about for months. I usually wear my hair pulled back anyway. Except for special occasions, my hair is rarely down and even less often “fixed” with irons and hair product. This is why I’m pretty surprised at the amount of “Nooooo!” responses I got when talking about my intentions to lop it off. Below is the best response I have gotten to my decision:

Lyn Cullen @AridanLyn
@elizabethamber Good Lord you have beautiful hair. Some cancer survivor is about to be very, very lucky. Good for you.

People have been “backhand supportive” with things like “.. but your hair is gorgeous now,” “*sniff*,” “No!” or simply, “why?” How about, because it’s my hair and I can do with it whatever I want.

Then of course, I had a Murphy’s Law moment. 99% of my modeling requires my hair to be up so that people can see my neck and back. Sure enough I got a phone call for more bookings in North NJ and the artist requested I wear my hair down since it was up last time. I broke the news that I wouldn’t have any hair to let down by then and he was ok with it.

This week, The Mary Sue ran a story about a boy who was violating school dress code policy while he tried to grow his out hair in order to donate it. The boy was a cancer survivor but he was suspended for refusing to adhere to the rules about boys’ hair length as stipulated in the school code. Someone commented immediately on that article that Locks of Love is overwhelmed with hair donations and that they would rather receive financial donations. Author Jill Pantozzi pointed out that perhaps the boy doesn’t have the finances to send but he does have the ability to grow hair.

The same holds true for me. I would love to have a massive bank account and write checks for all the organizations I want to support. I can’t. I have two to three causes I support each year if I am able. I have the hair. I don’t need it. Someone may as well use it. And if LoL can’t use it, they sell it to get the financial support they need.

That covers the charitable reason to cut my hair and I mentioned ease of maintenance briefly too. There are two more major reasons for making this change.

I’m turning 40 this year if I make it that far. I’m tired of listening to people’s ideas of what other people are supposed to be like at certain ages. By 25 you should have your Bachelor’s Degree and get a great job. By 30 you should have your Master’s and be married. Hell, by 40… I should have six novels written, a comic book series optioned for movies, a condo on each coast or at least travel frequently back and forth, and all-in-all have my shit together. I don’t. I can’t apologize for it any more than I already have.

First of all, there are very few people that I owe any kind of apology to and it most likely isn’t going to be anyone who reads my website posts. Second of all, I still don’t see why something superficial like changing my hair style affects anyone other than myself. If I have a bleach blonde mohawk that’s quite honestly, my goddamn business and no one else’s. There’s also no reason why any job for which I interview couldn’t be done with purple hair. How would that matter? I don’t get it.

I’m also someone who believes in blending the spiritual with the scientific notions of the Universe. In my studies, I have learned (and decided to believe) that our cells hold a certain amount of memory. A doctor might call it muscle memory – the reason we don’t think about doing a task because we just do it so often. Someone else might call it emotional baggage. If our cells are capable o holding toxins for years, it is possible they can hold the feelings or trauma inflicted during that cell’s existence.

So on the edge of 40 I teeter barely able to survive and if the only thing I can control in my life is my hair style, then I’ll take that step and make that decision.

My final note on this subject is this: I’ve had the “Rogue” style for a few years now and I have loved it. It’s been gorgeous. I don’t want to model myself after a character; I would much rather have a character modeled after me.

I’m happy to report that once Ashley )@smash_is_nerdy) began twitpic’ing the progress, people were completely on board and fully supportive. Thank you for all the lovely compliments!

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lJ6GvKf32DU

Date: 04-FEB-2012
Salon: Illusions, Flemington, NJ
Stylist: Abby

Founder and Editor-in-Chief of AmberUnmasked.com and Vodka O'Clock Podcast. Author of The Farrah Wethers Mysteries, comic book short stories, prose, and non-fiction. Cosplayer and figure model.