AMBER WEIGHS IN ON ETIQUETTE

AMBER LOVE 04-DEC-2014 I have no qualms embarrassing the men who send harassing emails. Even though I have written a book about sharing your nakedness online, it’s not like it’s flying up the digital book charts. So here’s a brief lesson!

DICK PICS

NEVER under any circumstance send someone an unsolicited dick pic if you are not in an established relationship! That relationship can be kind of new and it could be considered flirtatious. The key here is that you are both at the same BOUNDARY. Strangers don’t want your emailed or texted dick. Trust me, they don’t.

SOLUTION:

Make yourself and your dick a Twitter or Tumblr so you can post all the pictures you want of each other! People CHOOSE to follow you and don’t need to open an email with your unwanted penis in it. That’s where my naked pictures go. They go on networks where people need to consciously choose to look at them.

Solution if you are the recipient: If you’re feeling like a smartass, give him your best insulting reply then block the asshole. If you’re a sleuth, track down his mother, wife/gf (hahaha like they’d have one), sister and send the screen capture to her and then block the asshole. Or you could go right to the network’s BLOCK. In Facebook, that’s right in the email itself with a gear icon. Click Report and follow the steps.”

FACEBOOK’S RESPONSE

[UPDATE] Yes, I shit you not, this was Facebook’s response. They would not even remove the message or suspend the dude’s account. Mind you, someone reported my (covered) boobs several times and I had pictures removed from galleries and had my account suspended, as did artist Frank Cho who paints pictures of sexy ladies. But a targeted email sent to a total stranger of genitals is not worth even removing the message. Of course, I blocked Michael Smith on my own but how is an unsolicited dick pic not harassment? It’s like being flashed by a dude in a trenchcoat while you’re just trying to catch the fucking train.

“HEY BABY”  AND “ADD ME” EMAILS

Sending emails that either only say or open with “hey baby/beautiful/gorgeous” or whatever YOU think is a pickup line also gets you sent to the BLOCK bin. I wouldn’t take someone in a bar seriously if that was his opening line so I’m certainly not going to take it seriously in email. It’s catcalling internet style. It’s gross and unwelcome. It is not how a conversation begins. Are you that fucking lazy that you can’t even put someone’s first name in the greeting? “Hey Amber!” How fucking hard is that since you are looking right at my profile and my name is right there?

Messages like “Add me” get ignored but not after getting mocked. We’ve come a long way since Myspace, people. A long, long way. I’m not going to add you or accept your friend request if I don’t know who you are. I already have my Facebook Preferences set up so only people with mutual friends can even try – and most of them do not get accepted. This is not ego. This is not vanity. This is not being stuck up. It’s called having the choice. On Facebook and Twitter there are Follow options where the person does not need to accept you as a Friend. On Facebook, I have posts that are Public and posts that are Friends. I even make posts only for Close Friends. You are a stranger or someone I took a picture with at a convention – you are not getting added as a Friend. That’s what the Public settings and Public Pages are for. My Friend Only posts are for specific people.

SOLUTION:

Don’t even bother emailing if you have nothing to say! Messages that consist of “Hey baby” are vapid. They offer nothing to anyone in the universe. NOTHING! They don’t make you look good. They don’t make me interested in you. They get you BLOCKED. Therefore, IF YOU HAVE SOMETHING TO SAY, I suggest you form an actual fucking letter. Do you know what letters are? Does anyone remember? You have a greeting or salutation such as “Hello, Amber” and followed by “I hope you’re well.” Then actual sentences filled with real human thoughts (I’m assuming you’re human and that may be a stretch here).

Your real letter sent via email should also be the language of the person you are sending it to.

“Add Me” gets you blocked.

Messages that I haven’t replied to and you keep sending ought to give you an idea that I have no interest in corresponding with you. Therefore, a string of emails also gets you blocked.

BUT BUT BUT…DOXXING!

No “buts” about it… posting their harassment is not doxxing. Get the fuck over that notion right now. They sent them to me. I own those messages as if they were sent in the mail. It’s also not “revenge porn” as I have never been involved with any of them either. I don’t have any fucking clue who these assclowns are. They are from the Entitlement School of Manly Manness and they can be schooled in how to talk to a woman.

HERE ENDETH THE LESSON. For more lessons, go to Amazon and get my book which is a mere $1.99.

PS – #byefelipe is where women go to console each other by posting the messages we get.

PPS – if you really want me to notice you, send a picture of your bookshelves. I will judge you based on your reading material.

Founder and Editor-in-Chief of AmberUnmasked.com and Vodka O'Clock Podcast. Author of The Farrah Wethers Mysteries, comic book short stories, prose, and non-fiction. Cosplayer and figure model.